why you should always be kind.. or at least civil

I promised to share our horrible travel experience but now its been long enough that I wont be venting or ranting I'll actually just be sharing.

I am going to try and just hit the highlights because this day was truly one we will never forget in one of those really awful and trying ways.

Up at 4am to catch our 6am flight. Of course it happened to be the first first time Miles had sletp through the night in over a month and I had to disrupt him but whatever in a few hours we would be on vacation.
We arrive at the airport (late) because no matter how early you think youre leaving when you have a baby some how you always show up late.
Throw our bag up on the scale (we packed one all together for the three of us)... overweight. The man looks at me and says 100 dollars, my eyes got huge and Greg just said pay it. I thought I was going to throw up. We had enough time to literally RUN to our gate, my husband still without food. (If you have ever been around hungry Greg you understand why this is like walking through a mine field.)
But were pushing through.
We get on the flight.
Miles throws up the within the first ten minutes in the air.
Trying to change him and  not vomit ourselves.
We're pushing through.
Get to Detroit, 7:45am. Only 40 minutes here and another quick flight and well be there.
We desperately want coffee and breakfast but figure well get to the gate and get whatever is closest.
Arriving at the gate I notice it says Harrisburg, PA on the monitor. Confused I got to another gate to ask if something had changed. She wasn't very pleasant but makes a few calls and just says "You're flights cancelled go over to those phones" I feel my anxiety spike and start asking questions and she ignores me and just points to the phones.
We walk over and pick up the phone and it connects us to Delta and the arrange for us to be on the next flight at 12. Annoying but we will survive.
We push on.
Basically after this everything just fell apart. They kept moving us around and bumping us off flights all over the Detroit airport all day. [sidenote that we will NEVER fly delta again because they were SO horrible to us.]
We were trapped in the airport with Miles for over 10 hours.
We didn't get on a flight until almost 7pm that night.

 

It was one of the hardest days of parenthood. Trying to keep a mobile almost one year old content in an airport that long was SO hard.
I only cried once and very briefly which for me is a personal win.

Things that saved us, humbled us, and pushed us through:

1. Having the most grounded husband on planet earth. I could elaborate but seriously, that's all you need to know. He is why we survived.

2. Uncle kyles ipad- the blessing of sesame street on a tiny portable screen, hallelujah.

3. Saying see ya to the budget-We're frugal, we have to be. But when you're stuck in the airport for 10+ hours you basically go into a mix of survival mode and treat yo self. We probably got starbucks more times in 10 hours than we would over a six months span. whatevs.

4. Sling- miles would not fall asleep. so woken up early and no nap baby was losing it and when I finally got him to nap over an hour in the sling I felt like we just might make it.

5. Being nice- you will never regret being nice even when you want to scream at people who are treating you terribly.You will regret screaming like a crazy person or saying things out of anger.

6. Standing up for the family- being nice doesn't mean you cannot be strong. We got to add some time to our trip after this horrible experience for free which was wonderful.

7. A happy baby- Miles overall laid back demeanor is a huge reason we were okay. He didn't throw fits and cry, he is just a BUSY boy. so thankful for his wild happy spirit.

8. Never under estimate humanity- since we were only supposed to be in the airport 40 minutes I only packed about 4 diapers in my carry-on. we ran out, humbled ourselves to stop someone and ask for help. (The gift shop didnt have any and we were desperate.) This sweet dad with two little girls, was so kind and generous handing over a few diapers and apologizing they were pink. (((hug)))

9. Being *those* parents- we let go of the need to look like we have it all together or actually even look sane. We were those parents that let their kid run rampant, lick the chairs, and worse. facepalm all day my friends.

10. Letting it go-
The last one is the most important. Especially for me. I'm a grudge holder, heck I'm a grudge holder for other people. If I feel wronged or hurt I harbor it and let it eat away a piece of me. I love to have someone to blame for the bad things. But I wouldn't have been able to enjoy this time with my family if I was still worried about wanting to slap that lady for closing that door in our face.

When we finally were on the flight we could breathe again. We had our first little glimmer of hope when the person next to us didnt show up and we had all three seats to ourselves. At this point you just have to be thankful for every tiny blessing.

then this happened. We watched Miles looking out the window with his huge eyes smiling at us and as he was experiencing something for the first time, something he wouldn't have otherwise seen if we were on time. And in my head I could all I kept hearing was..

 count it all joy

It was like a song. And for some reason the whole day started melting away and didnt matter because we were on the plane taking us to family and we made it and we were going to be just fine.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials  of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4

Guys, its gonna be okay.

xo Jess

MILEStones

Behind as always.

I cannot believe we've reached 11months which means in just a few short weeks our baby will be one year old. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?! This little guy is amazing and joyful and we could not be more thankful for him. We so very much love watching him grow!

If you see me this month hold my hand and tell me I'll be okay, I'll be the mom clinging to my childs babyhood for dear life.

xo Jess

where the green grass grows.

Each new year (inspired by a friend) I try to pick a word to focus on for the next 365 days. I usually pick a word I know I will be successful at, like love, giving, faith, so when the calendar flips to December and I recall the year I can pat myself on the back for being so amazing at working on that word.
This year I decided to pull up my bootstraps and pick a word I would actually have to work at.

Contentment.

Ew. I hate even writing it. Being content is probably one of the things I suck the most at. I constantly want to figure out what's next? Where are we going? As if not having something on the horizon, or some sort of moving forward in place means we are failures. I wonder if well ever reach any of our goals, will we ever make "grown up" money, will we ever get a house? Pay off these student loans?! (Guys, student loans are the worst!) How can we ever get ahead?

I get easily sucked into my love/hate affair with social media. Its the cyber world equivalent of peaking over your neighbors fence to see if their grass is greener. And as I scroll through the endless feed I generally think everyone's is. It is long and lush and I want to lay in in. Then I glance down at my own yard and sometimes I feel like we don't even have grass yet. Its not that its dead it just hasn't even grown yet. We just have a whole backyard of dirt. We spread all the seeds we gave is sunshine and water and now were just waiting.
And I will tell you surely and truly waiting its the worst.

Waiting is unknown, waiting means you do not know what is going to happen or when. It is gray, it is limbo, waiting breeds discontentment.

Insert complete meh face here.
Realizing this was like my worst nightmare. Not only do I hate waiting but now I have to accept waiting to be content. I have to bask in the unknown as if I am totally okay with it and even dare I say it, trust that things will grow.

We recently had some set backs that make me pout and stomp and curse this unfair life. Things that make me just want to pour concrete over our yard and say there, now nothing can grow. But I decided to check my verse of the day app anyway. Assuming of course in this trying time there could be NOTHING God would have to speak to me but it said this:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 
Galatians 6:9

Really? I mean REALLY.
So here I am waiting and fighting and actively choosing to be content. I am serious I have to actively choose it or my brain will take over and tell me all the reasons not to be (and its a long list).
This is me not taking shortcuts or buying fake grass to make me feel better just for now. The truth is the fake stuff is never as fulfilling. The truth is I am going to have to wait out this season diligently and have hope and faith that there will be a harvest, there will be lush grass one day.
And for now I am going to look out at my backyard of dirt and happily dream of what it will be one day instead of focusing on all the things it isn't right now.


to all things known and unknown,
xo Jess

Let this be a reminder// wedding video

It has been cold here. I am not one to normally complain about weather because I know it snows here. It happens every year, it is never a surprise, so I always try to make the most of it instead of complaining. But for weeks we have woken up with the real air temperature being in the negatives and my positive attitude seems a little fleeting. That combined with our family being host to a HORRIBLE stomach bug for the last five days and I am about ready to throw in the towel.
So when I need a bright spot, an inspiration boost, a happy thought to cling to I go back and watch my wedding video.
My grumps seems to melt as if the sunshine was thawing out the frozen tundra of my soul and I can move forward.
I do not expect my wedding video to have the same effect on you but I thought I would share it anyway. Because I picked great music for it and because Danny Ebersole can capture moments and memories and fasten them together in a way that will tug heartstrings forever.
It reminds of the sun
It reminds me we are part of a beautiful community
It reminds me of love
It reminds me of creativity
It reminds me how insanely grateful I am to be married to my gentle giant

  An Authentic Antonow Wedding from Danny Ebersole on Vimeo.

Happy Tuesday!

 xo jess


video by Ebersole Photography