The weary drearies.

This week I have had a seriouusssss case of the "blahs".
I tried everything I could to get out of it, all my normal stand bys:
More exercise.
More fresh food.
Less Coffee.
Less screens.
More music.
ect, ect.
Usually if I push myself to stay in my regular routine instead of just curling up into my hole I feel better. Not this week, no this week seemed to get worse each day and then came the literal rain. Days and days of rain.
No matter what I couldn't seem to shake it, constantly huffing lavender off my wrists as if it were a hard drug.
You know the weeks? Where nothing is wrong but nothing feels right?
Depression is a funny thing.
Its a slow suffocating kind of overtaking.
I guess I am just telling you all of this to let you know, if you feel this way you're okay, normal even.
I am not saying I am a master at dealing with my issues, I will probably never truly grab hold of it all. But being able to get in front of it (even just a little) has helped more than I could ever express. Knowing it will eventually pass and calling it for what it is.
So here's my little unsolicited advice about getting out of funks. Its not instant and its not perfect but it is what helps me press on and I hope if nothing else you can figure out what helps you.

Be honest about what you need. I try to tell Greg right away when I'm starting to feel off. Not to excuse any bad behavior but because I want to fight with him and not against him. So I will say "I need you to take the baby for 20 minutes so I can run" or "can you please just put the laundry away" or even "I JUST NEED SOME SPACE". Being honest about my needs instead of just sulking in silence because Greg did not magically read my mind has drastically changed how we battle my depression and life in general.

Exercise. I know you do not feel like it. I NEVER feel like it. I especially do not feel like it at 6am which is usually the only time I have to do it. But it will change your mood, I promise. And I am not telling you this as a person who LOVES exercise and feels some sort of high from it. You basically have to drag me kicking and screaming to work out.
If you want to run for 2 hours and take a deathly spin class, more power to you. But I'm not asking you to be a slave to the gym, I just want to wake up your mind and your body. 15-20 minutes of something active will seriously change your day.

Tell people you're struggling. I have said it before and I will say it again: bring in the Light. If you are in the dark place and you are not emotionally capable of pulling yourself out and you do not tell anyone how the heck is it going to get better? I know its scary to be vulnerable. Every fiber of my being wants to run away from vulnerability. But having people is a precious treasure. I mean you don't have to write a blog about it or anything (haha) but have some accountability. Have your 'person' that you can talk about the icky parts of life with.

Cling to your happy things.
art. essentials oils. miles smiling. hugs from Greg. flowers. Truth. and cake (or donuts or both).
I am not saying mine are better than yours, or you need my things to be happy. But you need to figure out what is going to pull you through. On Sunday, I was deep into the pit and I brought Greg with me. We we being very short with each other, exchanged some not so nice words and went to run our separate errands. He came back with chocolate cake and a kiss on the forehead and I knew it was his peace offering. We ate that freaking cake guilt free (I even had a piece for breakfast). Cling to your happy things, your real happy things. Not the things that will make you happy for five minutes. The things that inspire and encourage you, the things that make you a better you.

I'm no expert.. on anything haha. I am just a person trying to navigate, if you're a highly emotional being like me you will understand. Life is messy and hard and beautiful and sometimes tiresome to feel so deeply about it all.


Keep breathing.
xo jess